Negative Nelly

The world is quite negative at the moment, and this negativity can have an effect on all of us.

One small, seemingly insignificant way in which I've noticed this manifesting in everyday life is with the proliferation of negative questioning.

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What is that? It's something that I think we all do, but everyone that I've pointed it out to has stopped and thought "Yes, that is odd, isn't it?"

"I don't suppose you have..."
"You don't think you could just..."
"I'm sorry but do you know..."
"I don't think you can help, but..."

"You don't do shoes in black, do you?" Working in retail I hear a variation of this all of the time. The negative question. The immediate assumption of impending disappointment. Why?

During a conversation about this question, it was suggested to me that it may have been because the customer in this specific instance had already looked and not found the item. I pointed out that the customer in this instance was a telephone customer and therefore had no ability to have already looked.

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When you stop and think about it, I'm sure you've done this at some point. I'm certain I must have done. But it is an odd thing isn't it?

Is it presuming that we will be disappointed, or thwarted? Is it that we have been let down in a certain way previously and thus think that what we're looking for, or asking after, is wrong or non-existent? Is it simply a quirk of the English language? Or is it that the relentless negative pressure of the world is getting to all of us in tiny yet myriad ways.

Try this: the next time you ask a question and find yourself reaching for the "Don't" word. Don't. The answer might still be no, but starting from a more positive standpoint might increase the likelihood of you achieving your aims. Try and eliminate negative words from your everyday vocabulary and you may find that negative thoughts and expectations lessen as well. I know that sounds a bit odd, but asking someone if they "don't have" is rather odd as well.

And for the record, yes. We do have shoes in black.


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