I had gin, fluffy slippers, and my boyfriend and I have been prepping for the zombie apocalypse for years. All bases are covered.
Blimey, it was a long night on Thursday wasn't it? And a little bit of a roller coaster! I've said previously that I always thought that, while the Tories would win, I didn't think Theresa May would get anywhere near the landslide she assumed she'd get. So I was expecting a slim majority, a loss of a couple of Tory seats, a surge in Labour support, and for the Conservatives to continue their roughshod ride across the social fabric of the country.
Then the Exit Polls were revealed, and it all went a little bit topsy-turvey from there. I'm not a Labour supporter, but I was still excited at the prediction. I spent the night flipping between BBC and C4, watching as the results came in, and my mood was the polar opposite of this time last year when I pulled an all-nighter in a very different state of emotion.
Image Source: calilox20.tumblr.com
And here we are now. A hung parliament. In a slightly-less-than-lucid state of mind on Friday I typed a few notes, and I'm going to try and make sense of them now:
- Theresa May wanted a mandate for her vision of Brexit. A mandate for her, personally. What is this a mandate for?
Her speeches yesterday, both in her constituency and outside Number 10 were incredible, in the sense that I couldn't believe what she was saying; how arrogant, patronising and detached from reality she seems. But then, her entire party and 51% of the electorate also seem to prefer to believe in fantasy than reality so I guess she's appealing to her base.
- She has been reprogrammed from "Strong and Stable" to "Certainty and Stability". Does anyone actually believe a word she says?
How dare the Conservative government talk about needing stability when all of the upheaval over the past two years has been their fault? David Cameron said he would hold an advisory referendum on EU membership to quell party in-fighting; he stepped down amid party in-fighting. Then there was a party in-fight to elect a leader. Then, because of party in-fighting, Theresa May called a General Election. Now there is in-fighting amongst the party as they debate whether she should leave. Whatever she does there will be more in-fighting amongst these overgrown toddlers who chuck a tantrum whenever they don't get their own way.
And they have the absolute gall to accuse other parties of instability, and claim that they are the best ones to lead the country.
(Wow, this one was a bit of a rant wasn't it?!)
- We were warned that a vote against the Conservatives was a vote for the Coalition of Chaos, led by a terrorist sympathiser. I said in a previous blog that if this is stability, give me chaos! Well, she was right in a way: people voted against the Conservatives, and it appears we may be getting a chaotic coalition with Northern Ireland's Democratic Unionist Party a party against gay rights, against women's rights, climate-change deniers and creationists, founded by a terrorist.
- It appears that young people voted in their droves. Previously younger voters felt that politicians don't listen to them so they don't vote: this is a self-fulfilling prophecy as if they don't vote, politicians won't cater to them. They cater to their core voters and their target demographics. Now that young voters are becoming a powerful demographic, politically speaking, politicians will see that they are a force to be reckoned with and will have to factor this into any future plans.
- In conversations with friends they asked me what I wanted to happen. Obviously my dream would have been for a LibDem majority, but that was never going to happen. So, realistically my best outcome would have been for a 'progressive alliance' between the LibDems, Labour, Greens and SNP. This could still happen - it would be a minority government, still, on a 'confidence and supply' arrangement, but I think this would be a lot more palatable to the majority of the UK than a minority party with the DUP on side.
But we'll see what happens. Since beginning this post three days ago, things haven't become much clearer: Theresa May's advisers have resigned, calls are rising for her to resign with Boris Johnson being touted as the next Prime Minister (we'll see what happens at the 1922 Committee today!), Jeremy Corbyn has said he is prepared to propose an alternative Queen's Speech, the Brexit talks begin next week, leading Brexiteers are back in favour in the cabinet, and across my Facebook I see people planning protests and marches.
One thing is for sure, British Politics: The Soap Opera - Season Two is shaping up to be just as bonkers as last year!